With all the detergent choices you will need to use a detergent that is specifically designed for washing cloth diapers. Borax or any type of baby laundry detergent will work just fine.
The best way to do this is to use a diaper sprayer. This is a handheld device that attaches to your toilet and allows you to spray the waste off of the diapers directly into the toilet.
If you choose to wash them in a machine, you will need to use a diaper pail liner. This is a bag that fits inside your diaper pail and catches the dirty diapers. You can then wash the liner along with the diapers.